Q How do I deal with the rebelliousness of my kids?
Gurudev : Negative suggestions call for rebelliousness in the mind. If you say, “Don't do it”, then the mind says, “Why? Let me do it!” The mind calls for rebelliousness. But if you say, “You can do it, only you won't get the results”, then you don't leave a chance for the mind to be rebellious, then it takes the knowledge in.
I remember one dentist would tell kids who would ask ‘Why should I brush my teeth’, he would say, “No, you don't need to brush the teeth that you don't want, you only brush the teeth that you want to keep!”
So, move from negative suggestions to positive ones, this is important. When there is strong bonding, then negative or positive suggestions don’t matter. It’s only when the bonding is not very strong that negative suggestions call for rebelliousness in the mind.
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Q. Sometimes dealing with kids gets so tricky that I tend to lose my patience. Every day I decide to be calm, but when the situation arises I am not able to control myself. What should I do?
Gurudev: You can’t do anything about it now, you have to live life spontaneously. It is okay to sometimes lose your temper, never mind. You should leave a little room for imperfection in life, and start accepting.
Some kids are there to teach you a lot of lessons, and it is okay for mothers and fathers to sometimes get upset with their kids. You don’t have to bring them up with all with sweet words all the time. Then you will make them very weak. I have seen parents who have never scolded their children. These children when they grow old, they can’t stand any criticism. A little criticism, a little disrespect from someone or a little bit of failure rattles them. They become so upset because they never experienced anything like that at home. So, at home, being upset with kids sometimes is like giving them a vaccination so that they get stronger. But don’t take this as an excuse to get upset all the time with the kids, it does not work. Too much of it is also bad. If you are scolding your children every day on a routine basis, they become so thick skinned and they go all the way to the other side, which is also not good. A little dose here and there is okay.
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